epistletoj.lapraik,anoldscottishbard april1,1785 whilebriersan'woodbinesbuddinggreen, an'paitricksscraichinloudate'en, an'morningpoussiewhiddinseen, inspiremymuse, thisfreedom,inanunknownfrien', iprayexcuse. onfasten—e'enwehadarockin, toca'thecrackandweaveourstockin andtherewasmucklefunandjokin, yeneednadoubt atlengthwehadaheartyyokin atsangabout. therewasaesang,amangtherest, aboonthema'itpleas'dmebest, thatsomekindhusbandhadaddrest tosomesweetwife itthirl'dtheheart-stringsthro'thebreast, a'tothelife. i'vescarceheardoughtdescrib'dsaeweel, whatgen'rous,manlybosomsfeel thoughti“canthisbepope,orsteele, orbeattie'swark?” theytauldme'twasanoddkindchiel aboutmuirkirk. itpatmefidgin-faintohear't, an'saeabouthimthereispeir't thena'thatkenthimrounddeclar'd hehadingine thatnaneexcell'dit,fewcamnear't, itwassaefine: that,sethimtoapintofale, an'eitherdouceormerrytale, orrhymesan'sangshe'dmadehimsel, orwittycatches— 'tweeninvernessan'teviotdale, hehadfewmatches. thenupigat,an'swooranaith, tho'ishouldpawnmypleughan'graith, ordieacadgerpownie'sdeath, atsomedyke-back, apintan'gilli'dgiethembaith, tohearyourcrack. but,firstan'foremost,ishouldtell, amaistassoonasicouldspell, itothecrambo-jinglefell tho'rudean'rough— yetcrooningtoabody'ssel' doesweeleneugh. iamnaepoet,inasense butjustarhymerlikebychance, an'haetolearningnaepretence yet,whatthematter? whene'ermymusedoesonmeglance, ijingleather. yourcritic-folkmaycocktheirnose, andsay,“howcanyoue'erpropose, youwhakenhardlyversefraeprose, tomakasang?” but,byyourleaves,mylearnedfoes, ye'remaybewrang. what'sa'yourjargono'yourschools— yourlatinnamesforhornsan'stools? ifhonestnaturemadeyoufools, whatsairsyourgrammars? ye'dbettertaenupspadesandshools, orknappin-hammers. aseto'dull,conceitedhashes confusetheirbrainsincollegeclasses! theyganginstirks,andcomeoutasses, plaintruthtospeak an'synetheythinktoclimbparnassus bydinto'greek! giemeaesparko'nature'sfire, that'sa'thelearningidesire thentho'idrudgethro'duban'mire atpleughorcart, mymuse,tho'hamelyinattire, maytouchtheheart. oforaspunko'allan'sglee, orfergusson'sthebauldan'slee, orbrightlapraik's,myfriendtobe, ificanhitit! thatwouldbeleareneughforme, ificouldgetit. now,sir,ifyehaefriendsenow, tho'realfriends,ib'lieve,arefew yet,ifyourcataloguebefu', i'senoinsist: but,gifyewantaefriendthat'strue, i'monyourlist. iwinnablawaboutmysel, asillilikemyfautstotell butfriends,an'folkthatwishmewell, theysometimesrooseme tho'imaunown,asmonystill asfarabuseme. there'saeweefauttheywhileslaytome, ilikethelasses—gudeforgieme! formonyaplacktheywheedlefraeme atdanceorfair maybesomeitherthingtheygieme, theyweelcanspare. butmauchlinerace,ormauchlinefair, ishouldbeproudtomeetyouthere we'segieaenight'sdischargetocare, ifweforgather an'haeaswapo'rhymin-ware wi'aneanither. thefour-gillchap,we'segarhimclatter, an'kirsenhimwi'reekinwater synewe'llsitdownan'takourwhitter, tocheerourheart an'faith,we'sebeacquaintedbetter beforewepart. awayeselfish,war'lyrace, whathinkthathavins,sense,an'grace, ev'nlovean'friendshipshouldgiveplace tocatch—the—plack! idinnaliketoseeyourface, norhearyourcrack. butyewhomsocialpleasurecharms whoseheartsthetideofkindnesswarms, whoholdyourbeingontheterms, “eachaidtheothers,” cometomybowl,cometomyarms, myfriends,mybrothers! but,toconcludemylangepistle, asmyauldpen'sworntothegristle, twalinesfraeyouwadgarmefissle, whoam,mostfervent, whileicaneithersingorwhistle, yourfriendandservant.